Hi, I'm Josh.
This is my story...
In October of 2013, I became plagued with a mysterious physical and mental illness. My symptoms were agonizing and I thought I was dying. Despair, panic attacks, tormented thoughts, anxiety, inflammation, an inability to digest foods, nausea, constipation, and debilitating headaches were just some of the things that became my daily existence.
Before this hell crept in, I was a Brazilian Jiu Jitsu World and Pan American champion, traveling around the world competing, living in the Lower East Side of Manhattan, and working a lucrative corporate job. I seemingly "had it all together"
From October 2013 onward, I spent 3.5 years in a desperate fight for survival. Every single day was excruciating. My life became a battle to not take my own life. "Suicidal depression" is putting things lightly.
First I turned to psychiatric drugs. I thought surely that they could be the solution to this horrific chemical imbalance. In a one hour appointment I was diagnosed with major depression, severe panic disorder, ADHD, Bipolar disorder, and if I would have told the whole truth, many more labels would have come my way. I tried 7+ different pharmacuetical drugs in a five month period, and when they all failed me (and made me worse) I took matters into my own hands.
I began to dive into hallucinogens. I thought surely that cracking open my psyche, connecting to god, and rewiring my neural pathways would be the answer. I did ketamine injections, many mushroom ceremonies, and eventually flew to the amazon to work with the plant medicine known as ayahuasca. Over the course of two years I flew to the Amazon three times and did 30+ ayahuasca ceremonies. My 2nd trip to the amazon I spent almost 6 months living in the jungle!