Believe it or not there is a part of ourselves that is keeping ourselves sick. It's not all about the toxins, a lot of this is actually being perpetuated by ourselves. When we are sick, there is a piece of us that keeps us sick. It is familiar to us, and when we have had chronic illness for years, that feeling becomes so familiar, that there is a fear of transcending it. There is actually the fear of losing the comfort of being sick. When we are sick, we get to be lazy, and get to not do anything. In my journey, I couldn't imagine what life would be like without the pain. I was so scared of what it would be like. One way that we keep ourselves sick is by perpetually engaging in shitty relationships. We may not understand it at the time, but a lot of the relationships we have are actually sick relationships. We choose people to meet us where we are, and match us with all of the neuroses and bull shit. We must be a witness to this. We must begin to engage in new relationships and be ready to sever ties with people who no longer serve us. There is no quick fix with mental illness. If people understood how deeply rooted their pain was, they would laugh at the fact that they were imagining to be free a few months from now. This takes time. Believe it or not, there is a piece of us that wants us to stay at home with mom, to be comfortable in our misery. The sickness becomes the comfort. Be on the lookout for the traps! Stop making yourself sick!
